


The Letter

by DianaBialaska



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Forgiveness, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, Suicide Attempt, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Saotome Ranma, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaBialaska/pseuds/DianaBialaska
Summary: Nodoka Saotome finds a letter from her son.TW: Suicide Attempt, Transgender
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44





	1. The letter

Hi mom.

When you find  this letter  I’ll be gone .  I’m sorry I  could never  be what both you and  dad wanted , but please  don’t punish dad .  It’s not his  fault that I am  broken and have  always been broken.

The  training journey was hard for  me .  Dad kept me away from most  my own age, but  when we were in  cities I  was always so  envious of the girls. I  wanted to  be one ,  wanted to  wear their nice dresses ,  wanted to  play with  their nice toys. And if dad saw me look at them,  he’d taunt me ,  call me a girl and  weak and  pathetic . Yet  whenever he  called me a girl  it felt nice .  Later he  used the  taunt boy  much more , I  guess he  found out  that I  didn’t find the  word girl to  be as horrible as he  thought .

I  guess that is  why he  used the pit.  Other than make me insane , it  also broke my spirit . I  remember him tossing me into the  darkness ,  telling me that girls  went to the pit.  After that I  tried to  hide my feelings away ,  because I never  wanted to  experience it again.

Jusenkyo was both the  best and the  worst that could have  happened to  me . The moment I  was changed into a girl it  was as  if everything was right in the  world . All of  my happiest memories  are as a girl. But I  also knew I had to  be a boy or a man. I had to  be .  I’m sorry mom , I  tried clinging to  my masculinity , but I felt it slip  away ,  piece by piece.

I did  everything to  prove I  was a man  amongst men. I  tried so  hard ,  even if I  knew in  my heart that I  was not.  Especially when you returned to  my life ,  mom . I  was terrified when I  heard of the pact. I am so  sorry that I am  such a  disappointment .

Lately it has gotten worse . I find  that I  can’t smile  anymore in boy form. Or  really feel  happiness .  Each time  we go to have  fun I  somehow always find a  reason to  be a girl,  always have a  planned accident where I  get splashed.

Yesterday I did  something stupid. I  was just messing  around with  Ryouga .  He’s not  very smart  mom , and I  kinda told  him that I  was his  fiancee . I  know I  should not have done it. But it  was just so  nice holding his  hand ,  looking into his  eyes . And  then we kissed.

I  know I’m such a  disappointment ,  mom . But  that moment  was the moment I felt  my last  masculinity disappear . I  may still have a boy form, but I am girl now no matter the form.

I have given up,  mom . I have no  more fight  left in  me . The  great Ranma Saotome has  been defeated . By a girl.

I  know I  could have  come to  you for  sepukku . But I  know you’d insist on  me pretending to  be just a bit of a boy. And I  was worried that if there was an  afterlife ,  then I  may be trapped there as a boy. I  really don’t want that . I  will die as the  weak and  pathetic girl  dad always knew I was.

But please forgive  dad . As I told  you , I  was always broken inside and it  was just a matter  before I  was broken beyond repair.

Love

Ranma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing, just kinda been caught up in writing multiple stories at the same time and I only post my finished stories.


	2. Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nodoka opens the letter and reacts

Nodoka sat staring at the letter for several minutes, reading through it multiple times. She was still standing at the mailbox where she found the letter, still dressed in sleep wear. Tears welled up in her eyes, her vision blurred. It could not be right, her son or considering the letter, her daughter, would be dead! Without thinking she ran as fast as she could towards the dojo, never noticing all the looks she got for being dressed in only a thin night gown. 

It was an out of breath Nodoka Saotome who arrived to the Tendou Dojo. She instantly spotted an ambulance outside. She could see Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane all embracing and crying. While Genma and Soun both seemed to not cry about the loss of Ranma, but about how their schools would never be joined. 

She was furious as she approached her insensitive husband and gave him a slap that could be heard far away. Screaming at him, then suddenly clutching him desperately. 

“She’s still alive, but in a bad condition. She seems to be excellent physical form, so I think she’ll pull through,” the EMT told everyone. “We’re taking her to Nerima General.” With that the EMT crew quickly entered the ambulance and it set off with a high pace. 

\--

  
  
30 minutes later everyone was in the hospital, waiting for news. Nodoka could hear a whispered conversation, about which enemy had been able to sneak up on Ranma in girl form and cut his wrists. Then put him in a summer dress. Mousse seemed to be the most likely, because he used blades. 

Nodoka sighed, letting out a sob. Then called everyone over, pulling out the letter. 

“Ranma’s worst enemy was herself,” she said, fighting to hold back tears. “And after that it was me and Genma.” She looks down at the table at this confession. 

As Genma is about to object, she raises her hand to silence him. 

“I should have seen the signs, Genma should have seen the signs. But we tried to make Ranma into someone she was not. And it ended up breaking her.” 

The Tendou family is confused, a few members look at the letter still in Nodoka’s hand. So Nodoka goes into more details. 


	3. Nodoka and Genma's stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nodoka and Gemna tell their versions of the past

“I  knew Ranma was different from  other boys  already when he  was very young .  When meeting  other children he  naturally seemed to  seek out the girls,  preferring girl  toys . I  feared it  was my influence ,  which is  why I let  Genma take him away , to  make him a man  amongst men. But from  this letter, it  was doomed to  fail . I  don’t blame you, Genma. It  seems that Ranma also had struggles on the training journey.” She puts her hand on Genma’s hand to comfort him.

The  martial artist  father , part-time panda  lets out a  sigh of relief. He  takes the letter from  Nodoka ,  reads through it and his  eyes widen , as he  lets out a  sigh ,  sitting down in  one of the chairs of the waiting room.

“It  became worse on the  journey ,  Nodoka . I  saw my boy slip  more and more  away .  Nothing worked . And I  became really desperate  when he  met Ukyo . He told  me that he’d be a wonderful  bride . He did not  know Ukyo was a girl and had a crush on  who he  thought was a boy.”  Genma explains to his  wife and the rest of the Tendou.

“I  became so desperate, but  then I  found a book. It  was bad,  really really bad. But the  Neko-ken was not just  used to  teach a  technique . It  was also used in the  past to  make boys stop  loving boys. In  Ranma’s case it  was to  make the boy stop wanting to  be a girl. And it worked. Or I thought it did.”

For the  second time  that day Genma receives a slap. This  one to the  other cheek ,  leaving a  hand imprint and  almost knocking the  resilient martial artist out.  Who knew that Kasumi Tendou could have  such strength when powered to  righteous fury.


	4. Kasumi Reacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasumi lets out some truths

“Conversion  therapy ?  You Genma Saotome is a monster. And  you’ll not  be welcome in the  Dojo any longer.” This is  exclaimed by the  normally peaceful housekeeper.

“But  Kasumi ,” her  father protests,  only to  be stopped by the  oldest of his  daughters with a  glare that he has never  experienced before . 

“ It’s either him or  me ,  father .  Either that monster is  gone or  I’ll find  somewhere else to live.”

Nodoka is  confused ,  looking at  Kasumi . “Conversion  therapy ?”  she then asks,  unfamiliar with the term.

“ It is a horrible and inhumane  treatment of  those who do not  conform to the normal standards.  Basically forcing them into the  boxes that society accepts.  What few talk  about is  how many of  those converts end up in the same situation as  Ranma . It  does not ‘ cure ’  them , but  instead they simply hide it  away and  grow more and  more unhappy .”  Kasumi explains .  Seeing Nodoka’s confusion ,  she lets out a sigh.

“I  know because I  read up on  sexuality and  gender identity ,  auntie . I  started when Ranma arrived ,  because I  figured it  would cause  some issues to switch from boy to girl. I  was actually very confused when Ranma never  showed signs of  dysphoria . Now  that I  think about it,  she always seemed to  smile more as a girl, I just never  really realized . I  figured it had to  be the  curse ,  making you comfortable , no matter the  shape . I  mean he,” the last is  said with a  glare to  Genma , “ always seemed content as a  lazy panda.”

Kasumi looks at  both the  Saotome and  Tendou family . “ When she wakes up,  we’ll take her to the  dojo .  There will be no  arranged marriage or  joining the  dojo .  Understood father ?” The  cold withering glance and the  commanding tone  makes Soun nod and not  object at all.

“And  we will all  treat her like a girl or a  young woman .  Because that is  who she is  inside and has  always been .  Because she’s obviously transgender , just more  fortunate than most in  that her girl body is all  natural .” Noticing  several confused faces , the  mother figure of the  Tendou family lets out  another sigh .

“It  means that Ranma is not  comfortable in her  birth gender .  She had a boy body, but a girl soul and  heart . Go to the  library if you want to  know more.”


	5. Epilogue - 10 years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 years later Genma returns to the dojo

Genma was stealthily heading towards the  Tendou Dojo . He had not  seen that place for 10  years , not  since Kasumi had  chased him out. And  it had been 10  difficult years .  While he had  avoided Seppuku his  wife had not forgiven  him and  kicked him out.

He  spotted a redhead  woman currently cleaning up a bit in the yard,  together with a  much smaller  redheaded girl of  maybe 3\. So  this was what the son he had  worked so  hard to  create had  ended up as? Did  she even practice  martial arts  anymore ? And  where was...

“Hey,  dad .  You should know that I  can see through that technique these days .” he  heard his  daughter say , as  she looked up and  directly in his  direction . He let out a  sigh ,  then dropped the umisenken.

“ Don’t worry ,  mom or  Kasumi aren’t living here , so  nothing to  worry about .” He  started to  nod ,  only to  be glomped with a speed  he’d never  imagined .  Then the smaller redhead  waddled over and  also embraced him . “ Reiko-chan ,  meet grampa Saotome ,”

\--

15  minutes later he  was inside the  Tendou Dojo ,  after a  neighbor had  been asked to babysit  Reiko for a  few hours. In  many ways the  dojo looked similar ,  yet at the same time  changed ,  looking more  modern . A  serving of  tea placed in front of him.

“I  guess you have  questions ?” the  young woman , his  daughter ,  Ranma , asks  him . His  reply is a  shrug . He  hadn’t really gone here to chat,  only to  see how his  only child was doing . He had made  mistakes bringing her up,  trying to  turn her  into someone she was not. He had made so  many mistakes in so  many other ways . But still he  loved her, he just  was horrible at  showing her.

Seeing that she’ll get no  answer ,  Ranma sighs . “Oh  my , I  guess I’ll just  figure out  your questions on  my own .”  She shakes her head,  giving him a small smile.

“ Soun is not home right  now . At a  council meeting. I  know he misses  you , I  often see how lonely he is  during the  evenings .  I’m sure  he’d love to have  you back as his  closest friend and  shogi partner. Just no crazy plans for  taking Reiko on a  training journey , okay.”  She lets out a  sigh . “I understand  why Kasumi banished you back  then ,  you had  really done  something horrible  dad . But it  also kinda broke Soun.”

She then continues on. “I  guess since I  brought up  Kasumi ,  she ended up  marrying Tofu.  Took a  lot of  conditioning . But  these days they live in  Chiba and  got 3 kids.  She helps Tofu run the  clinic and of  course takes care of the home, just like  she did  here . If  you decide to  stick around ,  I’ll have a  word with her and mom.”

“ Nabiki of  course got that business  degree we all  knew she’d get .  She’s working as an  investment banker in the  financial district .  She’s got a  penthouse that she shares with a roommate  that she quite often brings here in the weekends.  She’s still  unmarried and I  expect her to  remain so.  She and Sayuri-chan  definitely seem much closer than normal roommates.” The last is  said with a  laugh and a  wink ,  causing Genma to  blush at the  indication .

“I still  see Ukyo once in a  while . Her restaurant has  grown and  she and  Konatsu are still running the  place .  Me and  mom was able to pay back her  family for the  yatai .”  She glares at her  father ,  who seems to  shrink just a bit. “For a  year she didn’t really speak to  me , but  then she forgave me . But  don’t go to  Ucchan’s ,  she’s still  got a  strong desire for a panda-rug over the  fireplace .  She married Konatsu after Konatsu got a girl  blessing .  You see ,  Konatsu is  kinda like  me in  that regard .  They seem happy  when the  family go visit  them .”

She moves on to the Amazons. “Shampoo and Cologne  returned to China. I  was kinda broken and  unsuitable as  Shampoo’s husband , so Cologne  used some of  their obscure weird  laws and  cancelled the  marriage . I  met Cologne  when I  went there to  get my curse locked and for  Konatsu’s girl  water . Shampoo  was apparently chasing her  newest airen back  then ,  some poor sod  that had  defeated her and run  off from her aggressive  romancing .”

“The last Amazon, Mousse,  got left behind . I  kinda feel bad for  him , he  really did hit the  bottom after that . At  least they left the  Nekohanten to  him , but I  don’t think being a restaurant  owner was ever his  dream .  Somehow going to a  therapist to  help deal with the  loss of Shampoo led to  him meeting  another patient, Kodachi  Kunou . Sparks  flew and I  was invited to the  wedding .  They rebuilt the  Nekohanten and  these days they run  their own little dojo . Not  that they need the  money .”  She gives a sad smile as she moves on to the next.

“ Ryouga ... I  kinda had a crush on  him you know . Even  when we fought , he  was still  my best friend.  We ended up  going on a  few dates  after I had  come out as a girl. But  we just  lacked chemistry and  there wasn’t really enough trust  there for a  stable relationship .  He’s with  Akari now and  they got a  few kids.  Haven’t seen him around in a  few years , so  may be more. Still  until I  met my current husband he  was kinda a  frequent visitor in  my dreams .” The redhead  blushes to the same  color as her  hair .

“Hmm.  Who next ?  Mom ?  Dunno if you’ve really spoken to her for a  while . I  think she somehow misses  you and dislikes  you at the same time. Still  living at home and  she’s very happy to visit  Reiko . Of  course she did bug  me to find  myself a  husband and  make grandbabies , but I  really needed to find the right  one .  Lately she has  been kinda asking when Reiko will have a baby  sister or  brother .”  She lets out a  sigh and a  smile . “I  guess she just  wants me to  be a  woman amongst women since I  failed as a man  amongst men.”

For the  first time  since Ranma began her speech,  Genma interrupts . “I  haven’t seen her  since the...  thing . I  was so  ashamed of  myself . I had  failed as a  father and a  husband . Kinda  been retracing much of the  training journey ,  trying to  settle some of the old  debts . But  why are you still at the dojo?”

Ranma gives  Genma a  warm smile. “ Well ,  after high school I  went to college.  Started out  studying physical education ,  ended up  making that a  minor after I  discovered psychology . Due to  my own history I  kinda ended up  making gender issues  my specialty.  When not  teaching in the  dojo I  help others like myself. Anyway,  met my first serious boyfriend  there , but in the end  we broke up  when he  went to the US for an  exchange program.”  She lets out a  laugh .

“ Akane kinda ended up  reading some of  my books, when studying psycical education and acting . Just out of  curiosity was the  explanation back  then . But  then halfway through college  started going to a  therapist .  There was a lot of issues, I  don’t think we can really claim otherwise . The  result was some experimentation , just a bit to  figure things out.  Going on dates with boys and girls,  then only girls. But still  apparently something was missing, so the  silly goose kinda got hands on  some instant boy  powder , just to  see .”  She sighs and shakes her head.

“ Ended up  making him super  dysphoric the moment he  was reversed into girl form.  He’d never  realized just  how uncomfortable he  was in the body he  was born in,  until he  wasn’t in it.  Definitely trans like  me , just a trans man.” She smiles fondly.

“So I  joined him when going to China. And Akira  was born in  Jusenkyo’s waters . And  locked after I  once again threathened to beat up Herb.”  She blushes . “I  guess at  some point  along the  way I just  fell for  him . “  She then lets out a  laugh . “I  guess you and  Soun really did have the right  idea when you engaged Akane and I, but  we just  weren’t who we were supposed to  be back  then .  These days I  can’t really imagine  being married to  anyone else . So  congratulations dad , the schools  are joined.”

She noticed several emotions go  through her  father’s face.  She thought she recognized pride and  sadness , his  eyes becoming wet with  unshed tears .  Then she reached over and gave  him a  warm hug. “I  forgive you dad . I love  you ." And as he  cries into her  shoulder , he  repeats the same line  several times: “ I’m sorry , daughter, so sorry.”


End file.
